


4LCOHOL1CS 4NONYMOUS

by penny_dreadful



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penny_dreadful/pseuds/penny_dreadful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A silly little drabble in chatlog form about Roxy, Rose, Terezi and Gamzee holding an alcoholics anonymous meeting.</p>
<p>(There will be a second chapter that is less silly, concerned more with Sollux/Dirk and Terezi's past with Dave. It will also likely not be told in chatlog form.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	4LCOHOL1CS 4NONYMOUS

TC: hI My NaMe Is gAmZeE AnD I Am aDdIcTeD To ThE  
TC: motherfucking  
TC: MIRACLE  
TC: milk  
TT: Hmm, yes, Gamzee, tell us, has this been an issue for you?  
TT: I hope you don't mind if I take notes.  
TC: IsSuE? nAh It aIn'T No MOTHERFUCKING iSsUe LiLaC SiStEr.  
TC: AsIdE fRoM wHeN I gOt MuRdErHaPpY oN mY gOoD fRiEnDs, BuT tHeY wErEn'T hIp tO tHe DaRk CaRnIvAl, YoU rEaD?  
TT: Ah yes, the dark carnival. I admit to being somewhat ignorant of its customs and origin, if you wouldn't mind filling me in...?  
GC: UM ROS3 TH4T MIGHT NOT B3 TH3 B3ST ID34  
TG: are you really gonna one to be catchin stones here?  
TG: you know what they say about people in glass horses  
TG: *castin  
TG: *houses  
TG: *fuck  
GC: ROXY 4R3 YOU DRUNK 4T TH3 44 M33TING?  
GC: J3GUS L3T M3 N3V3R M33T 4NOTH3R L4LOND3  
GC: 4ND 1 THOUGHT STRID3RS W3R3 B4D  
TT: Ooh, yes, let's talk about Striders!  
TT: For example, Terezi, I've been lead to believe that your drinking is one of the things that lead to the severing of flushed connections between yourself and my dear brother.  
TT: Care to elaborate on that?  
GC: 3L4BOR4T3? Y34H, 1'LL 3L4BOR4T3 ON TH4T, 4ND 1 W4NN4 S33 TH4T STUP1D R4SPB3RRY P3N W4ND OF YOURS W4VING, B3CAUS3 TH3 R3CORD N33DS TO SHOW SOM3 SH1T  
1T3M TH3 FIRST: D4V3 STRID3R 1S 1NC4P4BL3 OF COMPR3H3NDING 4NYTH1NG OUTSID3 OF HIS STUPID CLOS3-MIND3D COOLKID WORLDV13W 4ND WOULDN'T KNOW 4 W3LL-ROUND3D ROM4NC3 1F 1T KNOC3D HIM ONTO HIS STUP1D COOLK1D ASS, ALSO R3D 1S OV3RR4T3D 4S 4 COLOR NO M4TT3R HOW GOOD 1T SM3LLS UND3R H1S SKIN, 4LSO MY DRINKING H4S NOTHING TO DO WITH H1M 4ND ALL YOU P4L3-4SS CLON3 "S1BL1NGS", WHICH 1S JUST A BULLSH1T TERM FOR MOIR4ILL WITHOUT 4NY OF TH3 R3SPONS1B1L1TY, BY TH3 W4Y, N33D TO G3T TH3 H3LL OV3R YOURS3LVES.  
GC: OK4Y TH4T GOT K1ND4 LONG JUST L4B3L 1T LIK3 1T3MS 1 TO 10 OR WHAT3V3R  
TT: I will also label it "creepy", thanks.  
TG: (Psst, hey, uh, clowngay)  
TG: *guy  
TG: (*No wait maybe I meant the first one lol)  
TG: (Do you ever get the feeling that you're like, really intrudin on somethign that's needed to happen for a long time)  
TC: NaH  
TG: (really? you don't feel like a thrid wheel here?)  
TC: ThErE iS oNlY oNe whEel, bubblegum BABE  
TC: AnD iT iS tHe WhEel oF tHe OnE-wHeeL dEviCe tHaT sPiNs Us AlL tO oUr GrAvEs By AnD bY  
TG: (yeah, um, okay then)  
TG: (oh geez is rose gonna)  
TG: (okay ow that looked painful)  
TG: (um should be maybe stop this before there's any, uh, bloodshod)  
TC: BlOoD iS oUr gReAtEst  
TC: MOTHERFUCKING  
TC: gift  
TG: (yeah but like...this looks pretty bad, I don't know your hatemate very well but I do kinda know my momdaughter and she looks kinda...murderous?)  
EB: hey guys what's going on!! karkat said you were having some kind of meeting and  
EB: oh my god rose!! stop that, put her down!!  
TT: Stay out of this, John.  
TT: This quack lawyer has insulted Dave and I repeatedly since she arrived and I'm not going to stand for it any longer. She is, as our friend Jake would say, too big for her britches.  
TG: oh yeah bc if there's anyone who knows about being full of himself it's jakey  
GC: QU4CK? OH, YOU D1D NOT -  
EB: I SAID STOP IT!!!!!!!!  
EB: geez you guys are worse than Sollux and Dirk  
EB: i thought this was supposed to be about drinking? and it was supposed to help you!!  
EB: not put you at each others' throats!!!  
GC: DR1NK1NG H3LPS US NOT B3 4T 34CH OTH3RS' THRO4TS  
TT: Yes, unfortunately, while I recognize that it isn't healthy, I find that I get along best with our new friends when I'm somewhat inebriated.  
TG: mom…  
TT: Not you, Roxy. You're delightful company in any state.  
TG: aw, thans.  
TG: *thanks  
TT: Not that I've had the opportunity to interact with sober you all that much.  
TG: sorry :(  
TT: What is going on with Sollux and Dirk, to smoothly change subject to someone else's problems so that I no longer have to think about my own?  
TT: Why are they at each others' throats so much?  
TG: I think I can help with that akshully  
TG: Dirk wants to boooone hiiiim  
TG: like, bad  
GC: R34LLY? 1 4LW4YS GOT TH3 IMPR3SION TH4T YOU 4ND COOLD4D W3R3 4 THING  
EB: do you really call him cooldad  
EB: that makes me think of like. harrison ford in monsquito coast  
EB: y'know, like. a cool dad  
TT: John, Harrison Ford's character in Mosquito Coast was a TERRIBLE FATHER.  
TT: He dragged his kids into the jungle to face certain death for basically no reason.  
EB: it wasn't for no reason! he wanted to build an ice factory, rose.  
EB: an ice factory, rose! try and tell me that's not cool.  
EB: you can't because an ice factory is so cool it literally makes ice.  
EB: because it's an ice factory.  
GC: SO YOU 4ND DIRK 4R3 NOT A THING, TH3N.  
TG: nop. that guy's the gayest of the gay.  
GC: I DON'T THINK I'LL 3V3R UND3RST4ND YOU HUM4NS 4ND YOUR OBS3SSION WITH CAT3GORI3S  
TT: Says the troll with four labels for romance.  
GC: GOD, L4LOND3, 3R, L4LOND3S, I'M NOT G3TTING INTO THIS WITH YOU.  
GC: I H4V3 TO GO GIV3 4 FRI3ND SOM3 GOOD N3WS.  
EB: rose I think you and I have a date with mosquito coast  
TT: Oh my god. Roxy, help.  
TG: are you kiddign me this sounds greta  
TG: *great  
TG: harrison ford in the jungle, probly all sweaty and dadstudly  
TG: count me in  
TT: Fine, fine. John, lead on.

TC: ....  
TC: ....  
TC: honk.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, look how pretty the colors are together. I hadn't even thought of that when I wrote it. :3
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
